Author | Lu Lu
Recently, I met a few friends at the end of thirty four dozen have officially embarked on a process of separation or divorce.
I do emotions bloggers for years, heard too many stories about divorce, can turn those together and I came to be witnessed, experienced friends divorce from his or her party, can only be called a people, true or adding a layer of shock.
To know who to class together, I know in reality friends, and my situation with almost Lo, is not only free love, and are still met at the time of micro, together with children to buy a house together, hand in hand together in life on the road crawling along, in theory, this should be a compressive strength and a solid marriage, it should be closer and better, and finally fame, became legendary.
The truth is, life gave me a lesson, the original really not every marriage can be one way to, some did not choose the right path, walked no way to go.
As an emotional blogger, I listened attentively to the story of each pair, but also seriously summed up their problems and causes separate, in view of the thing are not yet settled, temporarily details I will not write, save guess who is who.
Know my readers know, I am not a feminist, but this time I have to say that, today, no matter what the Earth horn Gala Li, divorce, women are basically put forward, but the vast majority of women filed for divorce, because the man really can not.
Do not misunderstand, I'm not saying men are here residue, but this species is relatively man woman, in general more rigid, the lack of plasticity, self-regulation and changes in less space.
Originally, marriage, love after the exhaustion of dopamine, two people less and less compatibility. In order to life and marriage, has completely changed women look completely intact males, time and again from hope to despair, on the left discouraged.
So while this world "that one right person" does not exist, but after all, still have to find "the people have room to grow." It's like planting trees, originally planning to plant cherry, and did not kind of go, but it is not the result of Japanese cherry.
So, how many marriage Results of this world, is like Huan Huan the phrase: "Over the years of love and time, what is wrong pay."
Before I wrote a lot of articles, after telling the marriage, how to adjust and operate, but now, I really feel the need to write about, if just this man obviously is a pit, really I would not have to shun down.
Identification of a man, similar to those, vicious, domestic violence, jealous, mother's boy ...... and other characteristics are better discern, I would not say every one of them.
Here, I would say that three relatively recessive trait, whether it is the first marriage or second marriage, believe me, this is really money can not buy life experience.
1, the most important one, selfish man, not
Selfish man can not marry, this day regulation, a commonplace everyone knows, but the problem is that it is very difficult to distinguish and define the character, how many women are mysteriously to the Dao.
Because selfishness and ego, is actually very similar. Especially in love, we are attracted someone, often derived from the nature of the person's self. So not to "fly in trouble," the critical juncture, we actually difficult to tell, what is the other selfish, just compare self.
Many women tend to use "pay" to measure a man, even a blind date to meet for the first time, will be interested in point Hupenghuanyou expensive food, do a test.
The problem is that men are not the same for cognitive money, not stingy men are selfish, evidence is my home Lo, stingy home, but he really did not selfish. Make you selfish and sinister black and blue, not necessarily stingy.
In my experience, it is often a selfish person has three characteristics:
First, the selfish person does not estimate the feelings of others, I will never admit. No matter what thing, what is even broken glass, oil bottle down such a small thing, wrong wrong day, the wrong motherfucker I was wrong, anyway, is not my fault!
Secondly, never selfish self-centered, they, especially those exquisite egoist, speak out of any proposal, saying the matter is much more beautiful, they tend to be always the same, that is to maximize their own interests.
Therefore, the Chinese say Man instead of listening to people, do not listen to how he says, but look at how he did.
2, no long-term steady state of man, not
Please note that I said is stable working condition, not a stable job, the two are very different.
What is the stable working condition, just after work, get rid of some individuals can not resist, body or forced unemployment and other reasons, has been at work, doing no long-term stop-blank.
So, the kind of work changed once every six months, every three months to stop; the kind of stay away, chic bare resigned to see the sunrise; those not how, lie flat on the rest;
There are those working for several years, suddenly he went abroad to study, of course, if a public school or a visiting scholar with the exception of natural ...... I do not mean reading is not good, but if you feel that, in marriage, you could have received the living, he suddenly lie flat, to a Gap year, then I have nothing to say.
In life, what a man can do, how much money, is his ambition decision; even if it is tired, even if you are annoying, a man can keep working in a day, is his responsibility. There is only one sense of responsibility to make women have a sense of security, which is not available for money. 3, the former girlfriend too much and there is no for the former girlfriend, no
All women know that Haiwang-type men are terrible. The sea king that is too much money is spoiled, and he has not perceived the heart. And those who have no money, often have some obstacles in their hearts, and need to be satisfied in constant stimulation.
Don't expect to be the last woman of the Haiwang, the sea king is always tossing to yourself exhausted, people are old and empty, and they may keep a woman.
It is like a few days a few days a few days of vacation, and this sea is good, it is not a day, it is memories.
However, in fact, than the Hai Wang, the kind of thirty or even forty, there is no love, or always live in the high school / university, even the small hands have not been taking the purexious fantasy in the purexious fantasy, at least Also, or more terrible.
Because the Haiwang is in honeymoon, it can also send some sweets in the road, and those who feel the feelings, there will be a lot of principles and logic that make you stunned, it is unable to get along.
In fact, these two are the two extremes, that is, this man does not have a deep intimate relationship with others. Let's talk about love, barely mix it, and if you enter marriage, you can only bother. Wales and unreasonable.
The difference between marriage and love is that love is a chemical reaction, release energy and passion, and marriage is physical changes, aims to establish long-term stability, increasingly deep intimate relationship, thus to resist their own life, because solitary The coldness of the cold.
In other words, love may change one person in a short period, while marriage, it is long, repeated, education and exercise, have always hammered the two people to see their respective life.
So, I hope that everyone can find that relatively easy, and can go to black.
Lu Wei: There are two daughters of post-style clothing, writers, walk in the middle of the cultural differences in East and Western cultural, elegant women from the media. The new book "Thirty-dozen", "there is strength to have a bottom" is selling.
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