01, today's society, there are two wonderful phenomena:
One, the days are getting better and better, the new children are getting smarter, but the mother's patience is getting less and less, some people are even sigh: "I want to be a mother never touching my temper, it is simply It's hard! "
Second, "Science Parenting" theory is also increasingly abundant, "parenting experts" is also more and more, parents' education concept is increasingly mature, but the psychological problems of children can be more and more More, more and more serious.
02, many people are sighing "raising children knowing their parents", when they are young, those who have been complaining in their parents, and they are also done slowly after they have children. People with unfortunate childhood, but also to avoid their children to repeat the same mistakes, giving children more ideal growth environments. But it's obvious that it is better than your parents, I can't bring their children at all!
Especially young mothers who have been crushing to the limit of life and even her mother-in-law, almost difficult to maintain rationality in front of children, although trying to restrain, but those who are most annoying and do not trust still apply on their children. Compared with it, there is too much. Therefore, many mothers are full of self-blame and remorse.
03, can explain these phenomena, there is a word called "emotional inverting", which is almost a vicious circle, and it is difficult to disclose from it.
Therefore, in this competitive, this problem must be attached.
Wen | Chen Laofe YOLO
Edit | God's teasing dad
"Emotional Irrigation" is a "disaster" of a family.
Today, this matter is not sudden, it's not a wind, some things are always happening, and some things are really not vomiting!
There are a lot of examples, the online is not mentioned, just talk about two things around you!
My wife is a very rational person. Relatively, she is more fortunate, she has a stable and income work, the child does not need her to worry, the mother-in-law is not in the morning, I used to bring the child in the morning. I didn't have any contradiction between the children in the evening.
However, you are hard to imagine, just such a person, in the two or three hours of being able to get along with your child every night!
The son is three years old, it is exactly the oldest age. Anyway, most of the time in the evening, the family is not a crying of the child, it is her scream!
Not I spit her, even the self-contained reflection, saying that I am not a good mother, there is no patience to the child.
The other is a neighbor, her husband is working out of the year, she is a real "full-time mother", listening to my wife, many young mothers have envied her, saying that her husband has the matter, she is completely used Life is worried, just brought the only daughter.
However, if you can't live so close, or because you pick up your kindergarten at the same time, you may not know how deep it is!
Because my work is relatively loose, basically every 4 o'clock every afternoon, I will pick up my child, in these two months, I can't see the branches or trees "lesson" lessons "with the roadside. The daughter, the scars on her daughter's hands make people feel shocked, it seems that there is no recovery ...
In fact, her daughter is only four months than my son, but it is really much more.
My wife said she was not willing, saying that she did "deputy industry" on the Internet, I didn't know how to do it.
The reason for this is roughly imagined. After all, everyone wants to make an economical independent and voice.
I am not the parties of her house. What happened to her, there is no embarrassment in my heart, and I will explain with my daughter. I don't know.
But my family is very clear!
For example, my son sometimes will not be happy because I haven't been wanting toys or eat, and then there is a little temper, and there is no reason to make trouble, let his mother can't worelf.
Children, don't inject the color, what is the inch?
Therefore, the final basics is packed up!
He wronned, while crying while explaining why you want to do it (some words and deeds that we don't like to be).
His mother often said is roughly like this (with serious and serious attitude and tone): "How do you don't obey! Mom and Dad don't work every day? You see your father back to pick you in advance, then It's just so late at night, you have made so messy, you have to pack it, your mother is not easy, do you know ?! "
In the end, the son is originally the person who venting emotions, but the result can only suppress my grievance, and said to his mother.
You may say that you are dad, what are you doing? Why don't you stop? Why don't you solve your own way?
Oh, I can only say that in a long time, I am smart, I chose "Ming Zhe to protect"!
If I want to say something or do something, what is inconsistent with her opinion, it is entirely in "fire"!
Because of that, the child's question immediately became my question, her mother-in-law's question, even my father's father's father's father ...
This is also emotional, I have a grateful life with her itself, I haven't really give her the most ideal life after marriage, so I will feel that I can't help her. And I am not a strong person, I am not good at "struggling".
The two harm should be light! What's more, the complete family is still important for the child!
I don't explain, anyway, I think this kind of emotion is not only a child's nightmare, but it is more likely to be a "disaster".
Most people I know, at least I am a person who is deeply harmful, and we are all dramatically, but also inherited this item of the older generation.
Written in the last
Regarding emotional pour, perhaps everyone has experience, and I believe that many people can realize that many people can realize.
The problem is, I can realize that I am "emotional impover", not much!
Let's give a simple example to explain:
For example, one day I am overtime, go home late, after home, I found a bad home, my son is crying, but she hides alive in the room. Look at the phone. I didn't work very well. When I was in my emotions, I would like to find two sentences.
However, I haven't said a few words yet, she is angry, she turned from a listener into a person who needs comfort. She became a "victim", but I came over with me, complaining about my son's naughty, complaining that my mother-in-law is not strong, complaining that I have no ability ...
At the beginning, I was the one who wants to express dissatisfaction, but I only have a self-blade, but I think about it to comfort her.
In this process, I understood her suffering, I think she is active.
She successfully fed her emotions, and I, I would like to give her emotional garbage to her, but finally became her emotional trash.
In fact, most of us are unfamiliar with emotions, our parents are even in our own, there will be countless anxiety and troubles in the process of raising their children, we will not consciously put the rescued hope to children, even hope The child is comforting us.
It is worth mentioning that the girl is generally better than the boy "early Hui", which is roughly this.
Under the past, the girls can only feel the good feelings of their parents through the presented (unregistered age), so parents feel "intimate".
In fact, the girl is just suppressing his true thoughts. I was forced to digest my parents to pour my emotions, waiting for her to grow hard, I feel that there is no need to continue to suppress myself.
In the hearts of people, in order to let others understand themselves, they will also understand what they experience will experience their experiences.
This roughly is also a reasonable explanation that mothers have no patience to children.
Finally, I want to declare: For such a phenomenon, I am not condemning anyone, just doing goodwill reminders.
The following small issues are used to self-examination, there is no way to change!
When you or your child makes a little mistake, your parents or you have these performances:
Tip: The content of this article is for reference only, please refer to the consultation results of regular hospitals!