Hormons Hogmanis once said: any interpersonal relationship, it is essentially exchange relationship. Only the exchange process of the spirit and material between this person has achieved mutual balance, and interpersonal relationships can be harmonious.
This is also true.
Divided by my mother-in-law is a process of exchanging the spirit and material resources. The two sides pay each other, meet each other's needs, when the demand reaches the balance, the mother-in-law relationship can be harmonious.
The so-called substance resources refer to money or other forms of material benefits; so-called spiritual resources, including recognition, respect, thanks, emotions, etc.
There is an old saying: Ten years of mind, ten years of reading
This sentence is also a resource exchange. In the first 10 years of marriage, it was the 10 years of the daughter-in-law, the most difficult, need help and support for the establishment of a small family.
Because of her, she is often facing the two difficulties choices with children and work, whether it is economic, or have timecent, she has no arrest.
At this time, my mother-in-law, age usually not too big, regardless of physical strength, and relatively abundant, time is relatively large.
If your mother-in-law can give the small family to provide help and support, the daughter-in-law naturally feels.
Wait until 10 years, the mother-in-law gradually aging, the body function decreased, this time the wife, the pressure of all aspects is small, her heart is grateful, she can assume the responsibility of the old age.
Harmonious mother-in-law relationship is that you come to me to the resource exchange, it is established. However, some people only pay attention to the exchange of material resources, but ignore the exchange of spiritual resources.
01. Differences between mother-in-law.
Netizen Ding Ya (pseudonym) and mother-in-law, watching very harmonious, but behind the hidden grievances and tears, only she knows.
Dingya is an only child, and the family is normal. When the parents' thoughts were clear, when she was married, she did not ask any color ceremony, and did not mention any conditions, even the first payment of the wedding room was also out of his wife.
The husband Cheng Zhou (pseudonym) is from the "Phoenix Men" from nearby towns. In addition to the intrinsic, character, education, income, etc., is a practical man suitable for the life.
The in-laws are also old people, for the marriage of Cheng Zhou, they almost empty the home; Ding Yisheng children, my mother-in-law is even more talk, and I will come to take care of the month.
In fact, Dingya is going to make your mother to take care of it, but the mother-in-law said that helping a wife is sitting on the moon, is the rules of their hometown.
Mother has to let it, saying that since my mother is coming, I don't care about it.
However, this month is unforgettable for life. Many details, she doesn't want to mention, and I don't want to recall, just say the results, shortly after the end of the maternity leave, she was found to have slight depression.
Of course, you can't say that all the mother-in-law.
But the mother-in-law brings her spirit to her spirit, it is unquestionable. Dingya also knows that every generation has the value concept of every generation, and there is a difference between the mother-in-law, and respect each other.
However, the mother-in-law feels that he is an elder, life experience is also rich than her, always wants to put his values, impose it to her.
Moreover, her mother-in-law thinks that she is helping her, she should be grateful, she can't have a half of it.
02. I have 2 daughters, don't need your pension.
Dingya has a warmth, his parents have educated her, respect the elders, and think about it. It is necessary to stand in the opponent's perspective. Some things have been tolerated. ...
Unfortunately, the parents never tell her that some people will not stand in her perspective. Some people will respect her, and they can be bullying.
Dingya married for 6 years, never had a positive conflict with his mother-in-law, and she chose to endure every time. She never understands why she is very peaceful for everyone, I don't want to see her alone?
My mother-in-law can feel her grievance.
But my mother-in-law didn't care, but often in front of her, I would like to say unintentionally: "I have 2 daughters, don't need your old age."
Dingya has 2 ambus sister, a big aunt married to other provinces, and the second aunt married a nearby district and counting to take a 40-minute bus.
Although, the mother and female are rarely met, but their relationship is very intimate, almost a video chat almost every day, every time, laughter is a laughter.
Not long ago, the father-in-law suddenly fainted in the community, and was arranged to the hospital.
After the big auger, he called for the first time. After asking the situation, he said that two children in the family arranged well, they will come back; the second augster went to the hospital to visit the hospital, less than half an hour hurriedly left.
Chengzhou work is very busy, not good, please do not leave, he is the main source of the economy; Ding Ya is also going to work, and the father-in-law is hospitalized. She also takes the child to kindergarten, but also take care of children ...
Finally, the mother-in-law did a nucleic acid to detect the accompanying public.
03. After 9 days of public hospitalization, the mother-in-law is polite.
My mother-in-law is not very good. After a few days in the hospital, I can't eat it. However, the big aunt's family has not been dealt with, and I can't catch back.
Later, the father-in-law set up the date of surgery, and the big aunt sister simply said that the day of surgery, she rushed back.
There are two children in the second aun, and she is in elementary school, and she is still opening the store to do business, even the time to visit once once, let alone let her take her mother-in-law.
Mother-in-law can only be strong. There are three beds in the public room, one of the aunts, no one is accompanying, just invites the caregiver, and the son will come over to visit every night. I learned that when I chatted, the aunt's daughter-in-law is willing to care for care workers, and they are not willing to come.
My mother-in-law is very angry, saying that the daughter-in-law does not understand, not filial, as a wife, should bear the obligation of the woman ...
One of the beds of the bed is also a daughter-in-law.
After she listened to her mother-in-law, she was very uncomfortable and cried: "From the perspective, the daughter-in-law did not support her mother-in-law; from the extent, the mother-in-law did not have her to raise her, if she is related to her, she is not good, she Willing to take care of care, it is already good. "
At that time, Dingya was just visiting, and he saw a little change in his face.
After 9 days of public hospitalization, the aunt, the big aunt and the second sister are coming, Dingya also leaves the hospital, her mother-in-law seeing her, it seems to be polite, take the initiative to say hello ...
Dingya is a bit of a pet.
04. Harmonious mother-in-law relationship, based on equality and respect.
There is a sentence: there is a good mother-in-law first.
There is a paid in the elders, and there is a feedback of the yourself. At the beginning of the initial, Dingya was very grateful to the mother-in-law. After all, the mother-in-law is really coming.
However, later discovered that the mother-in-law only provided material resources, and she did not provide spiritual resources, so that her life has been in a depression.
She once said and Chengzhou, after the mother-in-law, how to filial piety, let her pay for money, but she will never serve before the bed.
What did my mother-in-law gave her, she gave birth to her mother-in-law.
My mother-in-law relationship is indeed an exchange relationship. But all good interpersonal relationships, in addition to following the mutual principles, we must respect each other on an equal basis.
On the basis of equality and respect, if the two sides of the mother-in-law, if the heart is compared to the heart, there will be contradictions in the world.