15 years of marriage is shaped "path dependence", he withdrew me hard


Let me talk about my marriage first.

I graduated from high school to work, then I met my husband, two people talked about love. His family conditions are better than me, there is formal work. In addition to dissatisfaction, I am not a formal worker, others are very satisfied.

After talking about a year, he said that he still wants to find an industry, so I made a breakup with me. But he and the girl in the same industry only gave a week, and started to work in the place where I went to work every day. He said that the girl spent a big foot, too vain, not suitable for him. So, I will start with him.

When you talk about marriage, we have a lot of unhappy because some small things have a lot of trouble. Great, don't want to spend money at home.

My husband belongs to Mombao male, I am more independent, I am more pragmatic, so I am basically AA system after marriage, I won't save money, he will buy it in the clothes, he doesn't like it. I master the money, and I also think what people make me earned. The big expenses of the family are basically he is responsible. I only be responsible for buying anything. When he was buying a house, he didn't have any savings. I saved 100,000.

Take a bite, saying that it is what we are.

As for the one of the marriage, I met for the first time, it was in my wedding. At that time, it happened to stop my eyes, he was looking at me. On the way, I know that he likes me, and I am not happy, because he is also the type I like.

Later, even met, I greeted and greeted it, and even didn't even have too many words.

After a few years, we have inadvertently, we have worked together.

But the difference is teens, even if there is intersection, it is limited to silent concern. 5.12 Earthquake, although it is very far away from my city, but I am concerned about each other, I also received his greetings.

Summer, several colleagues gather, then k songs, suddenly see his text message, let less drink, go home early.

Collective travel, at night, he sent a piece of chocolate. It seems that there is not too much behavior, but it is swaying in my heart.

There was no WeChat in the time, and occasionally received the text message he forwarded, it was some ambiguous two, and when I felt the trial behind it. At the end of the year, I received a mobile phone recharge SMS. I took it as an extra payment of work, because I will take some care for the next year. At that time, he was slightly higher than me.

One night, and my colleague went out, drinking wine, come back late, he sent a text message "I haven't slept, I am worried about drinking", I replied to a "home."

If he is always taken care of me, there is a gathering, he sent a text message that I dreamed of me last night, I was bold once, and I had a countless thing. I have a man in this life. " His reply "Will it be me?" I didn't reply.

Once, because of the work relationship, I went to his home, and later he said that his wife actually saw that I was talking with him, very language. In fact, it is the topic that I have only discussions and interpersonal relationships with him.

Once again, I went to find him. He pulled me, I was awkward, put on the clothes on his body, I felt a bit embarrassed, pick up the clothes and took it to him, atmosphere Suddenly a bit awkward.

After that, I will take a meal or the name of the job, and occasionally meet, there is a feeling of being awkward.

The real emotional temperature rise, once I found the boy to buy a white gold bracelet to other women, I didn't know what it was, no trouble, no trouble, no trouble, I am afraid that my husband hates me, no trouble is equal to the default . At that time, I often go out to go shopping, he often accompanied me, once he accompanied me to watch the ring, asked which one I like, I was picked up at the time.

Since then, I started the true touch of contact with him. Every time I go out to eat, I have to take chopsticks, and the other things are doing him. In winter, he will peeled with quail eggs in the hot water bottle, give me the walnuts. As long as I am willing, he will come out with me.


In those years, his wife had doubts about me, but there has been no evidence. Once, I met his wife, she was very arrogant in front of me. After coming back, I told him that he didn't say anything.

I am with him, I have a burden in my heart, go out to worry about the different eyes of others, go to the hotel, afraid of the waiter to discuss, fear that others can see the relationship is not normal. I have these stresses to be with him, that is, he is really good to me. And I am in such an embarrassing position, he is not willing to say his wife, I gradually feel that this road is not worth it.

But at a little bit, the two are indeed mutually like.

At that time, we have been together for eight years, I have said many breakups with him, every time he is very sad, but don't say anything, still watching me, I am very touched, so I have never truly divided into.

As for my husband, sometimes I also speaking him is wrong, but because I am eager to cover my own mistake, I will not pursue him, and even psychologically have a balance.

This year, read a lot of articles t, also reflect on, in addition to this relationship brought me physical pleasure, for my career and ideas actually do not have any help. When I thought confused, he did not enlighten me; when I was marginalized, he is silent. Units not many people, there are two, there is a boss treat to play, except I did not invite co-workers and other marginalized, he went even sent me a landscape, I'll pull him into an angry blacklist , of course, come back after they reconciled. A lot of things like this, he does not always know why I'm angry. I can not blame him understand my emotions, always arguing silently, quietly and well. There was a time, I was in a bad mood when you ignore him, no reason to give him face rejection child, he did not, and I say, just after the still care about me, but I need is someone I can interpret the maze, untie my confusion.

Of course, I have not escaped the fate of all extra-marital affairs, he found our daughter chat messages.

I made the contents of this nothing wrong, he called me to let her suspicious, and she in front of him, with his cell phone sent me a micro letter sets my words. I very rarely in the micro-Thaksin and his sweet talk, so what that I did not say anything.

He later wife phoned me and said to get a divorce, that I destroyed their home. I can say except excuse?

In fact, I was very scared, not knowing what will happen next, thinking he'd leave me. He can be quiet for a few days after, amazing start to care about me, but not so often before. I was quite moved by his own wife found out, do not give up on me, is not that true love ah?

In recent years, is my dark years, I have sinned against a gossip, she put our thing exaggeration after spreading out (a far cry from the truth), his wife listened to feel thoroughly discredited, all day at home crying, Of course, I also met about.

That the three of us sitting together face to face. He sat there, despite what we were saying was silence. His wife is to face, not scolded, but then inside, then outside and curse about the same. I did see him that way, a little distressed, he was also a little too useless, wife to know that he basically never went to class, he is the family breadwinner, but in this matter he has behaved so passive.

After returning home, I grew more and more gas, reminiscent of his wife humiliated me, and his attitude before that day, my wife called and gave him, one of those rumors true and false interpretation, the second is to take this call , her call me before how the same back to her. He estimated that his wife was furious, then let us put the phone to each other and micro-channel pull the black.

In fact, my character is very stubborn, thinking about breaking up broke, I did not expect, I particularly painful that month, used to enjoy his concern, suddenly all gone, I could not. I tried to adjust myself to go K song, play, can still think of the past, often cry and cry, feel everything is to blame.


A month later, he added my micro letter, I had to go Gannan relax, ignored him. Later, he initiated in the group voice chat, QQ friend requests, etc., I have chosen to ignore. Chinese New Year holiday, he told me he was in our neighborhood, and wanted to see me, I told him that we can not be together, affecting many people.

Period, I tried had called him, he really can not get me out of the blacklist. So after I put everything off, setting information refused to add friends, so he can not see any news. I know that this road must be terminated.

Six months later, he and the guys took their daughter to go I've always wanted to go on the road, he phones his wife to see him and found he released me from the blacklist came out, had gas all the way with him. Come back the next day, I saw reject blacklist had a call from him, back to the past and found I was again put in the blacklist.

Later, we went there was a relationship, but think about my situation, his attitude towards his wife, and his attitude to deal with this matter, I finally chose to close all channels of contact with him.

We also have a QQ number is shared, you can log on, after the separation, I will from time to time to log it, upload some emotional expression text. See he has been silent, under angry, I changed the password QQ number. I thought he would ask me, but he never asked, just persevere occasionally care about me. Since then, I canceled the QQ number.

I do not doubt that he is like me, all these years together, he saw what delicious fun will want to take me to try, no matter how I ignore him, he will take the initiative to tell my whereabouts, whether I return or not.

I was naughty this year, he still care for me, and I convinced him forget me, so cold again, until finally, slowly everything faded. He said I did not want to delay, I was still young, he is old. This year his wife also see opened, the money spent to buy the skirt are thousands, and I was with him for so many years (Note: We live in a small four-tier cities), he gave me two thousand I just take a thousand year also two or three times, and only once the New year gave me five, or because he earned extra money.

I always kept that he does not respond, after this happened he never explained anything, although I understand him, after all, family is the most important. Later, when contact him as usual for me, and I can no longer as usual for him.

That time, I have thought about it regardless of the enweling and together. After all, people who can meet each other are not easy. If I can still get his concern, but I think that I am in a trough, he is in powerful, never I don't want to say that he is half a bad word, and then think about what you do will even make yourself, let you put it down, and you will voye his information from time to time. I decided to put down this feeling. I think, since I can't give me what value, I'm not limited, it is better not.

But I feel so difficult now, because I am with him, I have no husband and wife live for many years, and I started my mood, I don't want to do it, and my husband is actually just symbolically expressed. I know that my husband has a problem, but I have it myself, so I don't pursue it. Now I am gone, do I want to pursue him? I don't want to pursue, as long as he is willing to hit me, the heart is still at home, this home can be.

It's just a problem, is this situation, is it going on? I still haven't arrived forty, and I have been going to the next year, and I have been "accompanying" like this?

Please give me some opinions and suggestions for Uncle and readers.

Tip: The content of this article is for reference only, please refer to the consultation results of regular hospitals!